Down day..

I’ve shared posts where I’m positive about everything so today when I’ve woke up feeling shit the last thing that’s crossed my mind is to write a bloody blog. I’ve talked myself into it though as both times I’ve written it’s really made me take note and feel great so fingers crossed that happens today.

Well today I was supposed to be getting reviewed to get my driver off. For those that don’t know, a driver goes right into my arm with my painkillers. I’ll put a pic so you can see but I’ve been carrying this around for about 5/6 weeks now and I have the nurses in every day to change the drugs over. As you can probably guess it’s a bit of a chore carrying this round, wondering where to put it to hide it best. I’ve dropped it a million times too so I’m now on my third one 🙄 pain in the arse.

Anyway back to waking up shit, feeling sick, my tongue is all burnt and bumpy and weird and I have no idea why. I’m just not myself so queue me crying and feeling sad! So I’ve spoken to the doctor and I won’t get my driver down while I’m feeling crap, if anything it’s more likely they’ll need to add my antisickness back to the driver and delay it coming off even more 😢 this makes me super sad and frustrated! No swimming, saunas or possibly even holidays while I have this thing in. Burkey is also away on a course for the next 3 weeks so I’m lonely anyway but it all hits you like a disgusting backhander when you’re low. Ive been greeting to my mum, my nurses, my cat and guess what greeting bloody helps!! A good big sob, pull on my big girl pants and get on with the fucking day there’s nothing else for it is there.

Still a bloody lot to be thankful for, I’m lucky enough to have my mum to look after me today when I’m not well. I’ll see burkey tomorrow when we meet with my trial doctor (more on that when we know more) and it’s a long weekend this weekend ahead ❤️ so if you’re having a shitty day just roll with it, it’ll probably not be as shitty by the end of the day. Lots of love xxxx